Antitrustalone224

I can only count to eight now.

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a turn in my head by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

a turn in my head

have I lost? or cherished what I forgot I dont know where this life begins to grow but I'm tired of trying for you this is what I had to do the only decision that was true I did for you I lost what I was supposed to remember but then I forgot that feeling you gave to me jaded in this sanity of you and me paralize those eyes and set me free burning like an old cigarette my mind is smoking something I should regret but now I remember what I'm fighting for these reasons and principles I adore lost in time circumstanses change my heart was now falling now its all deranged I lost what I was supposed to remember

flip by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

flip

flip the script, slash the technique with your wrist. anger and pressure is all the working class feels inside. while the heads on top get all of our crops. we pay them to control us. while they make more then us. broke and dead tired dreaming the day when people get fired, with a short lived vacation. as welfare as their salvation. people cant control who they pay to control them. Feel the flow as your money goes by for manual workers live and die every day. They only get an hour of relaxation as the administration gets to play. on the green or the field where people kill. just to earn minimum wage. sit at the plague of u

split open by Antitrustalone224, literature

last chance at a scream by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

last chance at a scream

this is it, A last chance of me. what is to be seen inside. All these fears I wasted, all the tears I've cried. it seems one plus me and three plus two. will never equal the same. will never equal you. could you drown me slowly, in the tears of my own regret. life is fleeting and I'm not done yet. Feel the pain, a certain sorrow. hatred deceit and lies these will all be the survivors of tomorow. slit wishes and hopefull wrists. to witch of these do I assist? certain love and certain lies. alot of vodka help tears confide. happiness is like a firework. light it up and watch go. but in the end we are all left in darknes

last respect by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

last respect

close my eyes pull my heart strings put my tears in your hands conections never easy said empty words empty soul I believe we are afraid of one another I believe, you have died with in me. Times all these times that you have lied all these fears it seems I cant hide So die I gotta die inside my mind what have we got? again flesh on flesh november is blind look in to your eyes look at the stone it's better to be stepped on then left alone times all these times that you have lied all the fears it seems I cant hide so die I gotta die inside my mind what have we got? all respect is lost!

problems by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

problems

V1: cross the boarder states the wrong side look away virginia. (Pause: melody break.) I spend every day like the past isnt rich crossing 17 years. whispers a way not so much get your poison tongue out of my ear. heres a fact you can not rise above I have priblems yeah we'll have bigger ones. Chorus: Damge to damn controll you wanted to go alone I never said no, I never said no. V2: spitful confrontations child seperations it's just another present to get passed the man was very helpful but I knew he wouldnt stay there used to be a baby but the baby went away. Bridge: for swear what you undergo you wanted to

Ari's song by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

Ari's song

V1: so it's sad, this doesnt fit you now me fresh out of luck please ignore the list. I never meant to sound like this, so take me and break me make me strong like you. I'll be ever greatful to, this and you. chorus: It's only you, beautiful I dont want anything, I cant choose It's only you V2: fix me to a chain around your neck wear me like a nickel even though I served in old skins she fences in, I shot the pilot begging you to fly this for me I'm here for you to use broken and bruised, do you understand? chorus: It's only you beautiful I dont want anything, I cant choose it's only you. bridge: how could

his addiction by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

his addiction

V1: you like his addiction, it burnes in your eyes. stop editing your voices. I know where they lie. chorus: god damn, all this, all me. you are addicted to this spec I tried to live for only, I died again in this mess. V2: my anti depressants are filled with you lies, down alone and failing. this is my time. bridge: my time to die! for me, no more crying. thinking of her vanity with in me. chorus: god damn, all this, all me. you are addicted to this spec I tried to live for only, I died again in this mess V3: people telling me I should leave. but I know I decide my own defeat, with you!

two roads, one choice by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

two roads, one choice

two roads, one choice like a rebel without a voice. your stuck at a fork in the road. low and behold two paths, a couple of ways to think about life. an obssesion a passion. to my minds distraction, so many nicknames so little time. to find out none of them are mine. the name is littered all over the page. my pen is blood red from the wait and the rage. to look for, and to laugh at nothing. to cover up the pain inside. the soft sounding selection of word choice when you want to speak his name. To my mind it is not your blame its mine. trying to find a reason a way try not to think of the gaze in your eyes, something i

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No ease by Antitrustalone224, literature

Blank by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

Blank

As my heart and mind go blank who am I left to thank? after letdown and letdown from pitty to pride to my tears alone and only them alone I do confide Why do you hate me? Why dont you care? It's my burden in my life that I have to bare from words of wisdom to fears to pride from my own dreams I have to hide people cant see what I'm running from people dont understand the strian and stress of the demand that people have planed for me people cant see people cant save one's love that someone throws away one cant choose a date one cant choose a day just to get away from everyday life so they hide in music in d

Through my eyes by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

Through my eyes

Through my eyes I'm bleading empty thoughts are fleeting my mind is drowning inside through the years I've found a place to hide where my soul can confide It's like a time line or a flashing review how my memories bleed through memories of you,memories of me some thing in my heart that I can not see Imagine were in the same place same time, same face would you hate me now? for some reason you tear away my mind keeps reminder of that day I'm on my knees pleading though my eyes are bleeding you still force feed my mind with the time when we were once, one before you had to beat me down before you said we were done to the e

Fire by Antitrustalone224, literature

laughing silently inside by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

laughing silently inside

I laugh silent inside to watch where once my soul used to reside the finger's pointed the jokes cracked it feals like knives ripping into the delicate skin on my back as my heart begins to turn black I turn back to the day where I used to beg to let them ask me to see if I wanted to play but no wish of mine came true who am I writing to? could it be you? you just have to think what if someone left you on the brink of saying goodbye they hurt you so bad that you wanted to die to when I find my life it depends the assault on my senses it nenver ends till then I live, life with new friends and dont think of my enemie

Jaded by blinding jewelery by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

Jaded by blinding jewelery

Jaded by blinding jewelry is this who I really have to be? coverd with silver wrapped with gold watching as my body goes cold fealing the weight of the chains something tells me I'm becoming insaine Shoping at palaces and palaces of gold to the outside world I have grown cold The precious metals ever changing ranging form silver to platnum where they got these buety's in the world something else is happening a five year old digging for a dollar an hour his mother still can bearley buy a pound of flour no need for education when all this kid knows is desperation the hesitation of wanting to go and play might not let him ea

sleep silently slaughterd soul by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

sleep silently slaughterd soul

Every day pain comes and goes but where it stopes with you no one knows for failing you I must express my love, my life has no intrest you leave to talk to him, not me even though I am here for you, you can not see my words fall upon deaf ears through the years the words, the pain slowly ingrained in my mind to watch you sleep is a dream to hear you scream is a reality the fake faultiness in my life theres no morality the timless and timless tips slowly fading loosing grips surgey for my jaw and teeth does not count thinking of you as they took me out plain percision of pain as I silently scream on the phone when y

for my mother by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

for my mother

For falling failing forbidness I need a place for my minds madness to rest a place in my head, a place where my thoughts could be read then dispursed in to catagories one thought makes my body shiver one screatching syllable and I quiver I'm flooded with false freedoms and pride I may look like I've grown with age but I am still an embryo in a cage, inside I am pleading to be reborn waiting to be called to arms by hells bloody horn What does it mean to me? what does it mean to you? the pent up emotions I can not pursue my mind is shaken with the hopeless sensation of this word my life is set on not having heard the word of

not surrendering to suffering by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

not surrendering to suffering

I sleep silently at night just knowing somone saying It's going to be alright the pain I faced the tears I had to waste but surprising to me she was there in reality the comment I got, I couldn't have thought what anyone would say, or if any one would care she let me know that she was there For the prayers she said she kept my hopes up and not letting them be dead I thank her today for what she had to say so I sleep better tonight knowing she will help me be alright.

slowly falling away by Antitrustalone224, literature

Literature

slowly falling away

Slowly falling away today my mind's breaking down makes me want to beg It's weird to hear poeple say that they'll be happier another day but why must they lie? as sending tears up to the sky just to be rained down upon again slaughterd, suffering but still you move on repeating to your self on and on saying it will be ok to know what people say behind your back your body's turned cold, your hearts turned black thinking back to the time before this rhym when you could actually think not trying to lie to yourself, not trying to buy yourself but just wake up your heart and live you soon will see it in you to forgive with t

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You Always Knew by BrokenDown17, literature

Literature

You Always Knew

The only worries left… Are those you caused me; The pain you caused me; The pain I caused me. The only pain, That I can see… Are the regrets and the scars; The burns and marks; Left on my bruised, And broken body. The only thing left for me, Is what's left in my dying heart. But it's slowly vanishing now. Can you see what you've done to me? The only thing left for me, Is in my own two hands. The fear behind my eyes, Is because of what you've done to me. You always knew what I was thinking. Do you care what you've done to me? The fear watches from the back of my mind. I watch my hands let go… Of everything I've ever loved

Untitled by zilolina, literature

Literature

Untitled

If happiness is a tear drop away Will we be ever after if I weep on your shoulder? If till death do we part Will you give your heart to my grave? If red rose is for passion And I stain a white rose with my blood Will you take my love? I'd slit my wrist into a vase Feed a white rose with my blood Perhaps when it finally fills the silvery veins Perhaps then you will love me Perhaps then you will see me...

Deviation Spotlight

Sheets runing red. by Antitrustalone224, literature

Sheets runing red.

Antitrustalone224

About Antitrustalone224

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Artist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 20 years
He / Him

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My Bio

Current Residence: ok dont tell anyone but I live in Galt, shhh I know its three hours from the ocean.
Favourite genre of music: metal,hard rock and classic Rock
Operating System: windows
MP3 player of choice: Ipod all the way I just got one it is sick!!!!!!
Favourite cartoon character: Destiny
Personal Quote: why am I so fat and ugly

Favourite Visual Artist

uhhh He's not on here but he lives right across the street from me. I need to sign him on

Favourite Movies

labyrinth,Goonies and the lost boys

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Any thing that will fit my mood and that has good lyrics.

Favourite Writers

hands down William Shakespear. Go really old dead people

Favourite Games

Halo2

Favourite Gaming Platform

Xbox

Tools of the Trade

Emotions and a pencil and paper.

Other Interests

hands down poetry playing bass, surfing and hurting my self on a skateboard

Posts

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Antitrustalone224

Jun 9, 2005

the bleeding has stopped

0 min read

hey all, hmmm how to start. well lets just say I'm finally back to the thing that makes me whole. My writing has finally came back to where it should be. in my mind and my heart. I havent been on here in a while. To tell you all the truth I've been scared to. I've been scared to let you all down, in some way with my new massacre of what I now call my writing. I think I'm not me without writing. I just couldnt figure out what it was that I couldnt write about. I tried thinking of everything, but if found that, that was my real problem. I thought about too many things and never just sat down and didnt think about anything let my hand and heart

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Antitrustalone224

Mar 18, 2005

I'm dead to dA and I'm sorry

0 min read

I wonder if anyone still even remembers my screen name? I wonder if anyone will take the time to read any of my bull shit rambling. I've ignored this site and everyone on it. All these people that are so awsome and great at what they do, and me. Well thats a different story. All my dreams I had just seemed to fade slowly away. Becoming a writer and writing got mstly pushed back cause unfortunatley I dont have the time. it just seems with last attempts to make my parents proud, I lost sight of who I am or was in this aspect. I still act the same I guess but all things have changed for me dramatically. got a job, signed up for the navy. All t

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Antitrustalone224

Jan 16, 2005

so here we are, back to the start again

0 min read

wow, this is kind of hard and anoying (I'll explain in a few.) yeah you are hearing from the person you might remember from dA. It's the guy who cant write a good song or poem if he wanted to. no I'm just playing. lets see my new nick name is train wreck. if you are all wondering why. I will tell you, in this year alone I have had four serious injuries. injurie number one broken nose, number two cracked ribs, number three blown out knee and then lucky number four a steak knife through the fore arm. which severed a nerve and hit an artery. then as you can guess I bleed and almost pass out from the lack of blood. so two weeks later, nerve recon

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Profile Comments 114

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Freebird007

Dec 5, 2006

hey where u been? i feel bad for not looking you up sooner but like peoples said "got a s/n of some sorts?"

peopleRstrange

Aug 31, 2005

hey russes. how goes it? hey do you have MSN or AIM or YIM? i havent talked to you in forever *sniff

AliceInWonderland04

Jul 3, 2005

Hey, well i decided you check you out as well (not literally of course) but you seem really cool. take care for now. *wink~

Freebird007

Apr 14, 2005

HEY! i LOVE the movie labrynth... i haven't seen it in the longest time though *tear*

cyclopscat

Jan 22, 2005

Dude! You must check out this picture. It's awesome. [link]

cyclopscat

Dec 29, 2004

Huh. I got your thousanth pageview. Do I get a cookie?

Antitrustalone224

Jan 16, 2005

I dont know do you want a cookie? or a brownie? or or or or or or or or or or or................oh shit I forgot. What was I saying?